Friday, 22 March 2013

Nerf War Part 1


Beans Moment (Energy)
WALT choose words that describe a moment for the reader
YOUR SIGNS OF SUCCESS

  • begin in the action
  • present tense (I am, not I was)
  • short, sharp sentences
  • uses the senses (smell, taste, look, hear, touch)
  • strong verbs

I have beans in a Nerf war with my friends.

“I’ll have the shoty” (shotgun) My friend Mack says “Me too” “Ok. Move out!” I sprint around the corner yelling out ‘YELELELELELA!” But no one was there, not even a wombat. Mainly because there are no wombats in New Zealand. I was so embarrassed, my face went as red as a ripe apple. I signal the others to move out. I have to keep it down I think to myself.



All of a sudden a big wave of enemies come hurdling our way. TAKE COVER! I feel myself grip the handle of the shoty. I pull the trigger. I can’t believe it! I hit someone. I look over at the huge group of enemies. He shouts out “HIT!” It was joyous. The noise was unbearable. All it was was just screaming and shouting.
I still can’t believe I survived that ferocious attack.
I felt very relieved I wasn’t out of the game. But there was one problem one BIG! problem. I was the last survivor on my team. I decide to move out ...again... But just befor I go around the corner I hear a game plan.
It can’t be my team. It has to be the other team. I can catch them off guard. POT SHOT! I missed. “Under attack!” I hear around the corner. “Where did it come from?” I decide to make a plan. Somewhere safe.


This is my beans moment. The class had to create story based on the great book beans by P. Grace.

Scan my QR Code for my favourite part!

5 comments:

  1. Awesome writing, Zeb!


    You really make the moment come alive for the reader. Love how you included a QR code of your favourite part.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey Zeb I like your post. Did you win the war?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm still witting part 2.

      Delete
  3. I like your Beans moment Zeb and how many guns did you have? That is a really like your story because I can imagine being there, well done Zeb and keep up the good work!!

    ReplyDelete

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