Friday, 14 June 2013

Rock Hopping

WALT choose words that describe a moment (in an exciting way) for the reader
  • begins in the action
  • present tense (I am, not I was)
  • short, sharp sentences
  • strong verbs
  • uses the senses (look, feel, hear, taste, smell)
  • language features (simile, alliteration, onomatopoeia, metaphor)
  • show personality (sounds like you, humour, feelings, exaggeration)

Rock Hopping

Are we really going to do this 0b1? Just use the force Zeb. Use the force.
Well ok, Force jump... Am I dead? Well open your eyes then! I made it! Ok the next rock. Yea! And again Zeb. Well, I don’t get that when I’m out here doing this, you're in my head telling me to use the force. But really that is pretty easy. Don’t forget I’m eating pie. Well then shut ya piehole, you're making me hungry. Ok What did I say? You said SHH... Ok... Good now I can make the jumps now without my conscience bugging me. BUTT :) SHUT YA PIEHOLE! Oh great just great. Is it Yoda?... NO!... It’s a big rock thingy that I have to run up. Use the force Zeb.  I don’t even care anymore. Up up up up up. Oh, One more time. Up up up up up. Yes, I’m up. Woohoo! I feel like I’m on Mount Everest! But you're not. I hope you have a biiig sleep in tomorrow. Well in that case, I will set my alarm a 7.ooam I made a new song in my head. It’s called You Make Me Rage! Man, this is fun. But the one thing that isn't fun is you 0b1. I’m glad to be of your help Zeb. Hey look over there it’s a hut and look there, It’s a cave with a small opening. I’m going in. Yaaa! Hey look there was a bigger opening! Well bad luck. ding. Yay my pie is ready. Stop making pie in my head!


  1. Ha ha ha that is so funny, you always know how to crack me up(what i'm saying is your story is funny).
    Keep up the laughter and good work. :-)

  2. Great work Zeb!
    It was funny when your conscience said "Butt",
    "Shut your pie hole" was pretty funny.
    Keep up the good work!

  3. Awesome work Zeb!
    Great writing,
    I like your photos.
    I like it when you said, BUTT :) SHUT YA PIEHOLE!
    That's really funny.
    Keep up the great work.

  4. Exciting writing, Zeb! You bring the reader right into the moment!


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