YOUR SIGNS OF SUCCESS
- Begins in the action
- Present tense (I am, not I was)
- Short, sharp sentences
Key words: Teeth, Three weeks and Bleeding.
Tooth number 1
I am reading a book and suddenly... CRACK! I feel my bottom right tooth loosen. All is silent. I think to myself, “What was that”I get up. CRACK! There it is again! Ohno It’s my tooth! I pull it out. So much Blood. I’m going to die from loss of blood!
Tooth number 2 (I must warn you, it’s boring)
OK so I’m at my friend's house. I say to my friend, “I am so SO! sick of this loss tooth!!!” My mate said “Pull it out” I say “Naaa” “I don’t want to get blood everywhere” “Let’s go for a swim” I said “ OK” My friend said. S-W-I-M “Hey my tooth came out” “And there's blood in the pool!”
Tooth number 3
“I’m so tired!” I have to go to the supermarket. OK i’m at the supermarket. I get out. I have to dodge all the people. And I’m of will I make it? Can I do it? HO HO! And I make it. But then I walk into a pole. That hurt. And then my tooth fell out.
Entertaining writing, Zeb!
ReplyDeleteYou are good at using the present tense and you have put a lot of personality into this!
Nice work Zeb (WARNING:be careful of pesky poles.
ReplyDeleteyuk blood in the pool and watch out for those poles zeb
ReplyDelete