Friday, 8 February 2013

Key word writing

WALT choose words that describe a moment for the reader.

  • Begins in the action
  • Present tense (I am, not I was)
  • Short, sharp sentences
Key words: Teeth, Three weeks and Bleeding.

Tooth number 1
I am reading a book and suddenly... CRACK! I feel my bottom right tooth loosen. All is silent. I think to myself, “What was that”I get up. CRACK! There it is again! Ohno  It’s my tooth! I pull it out. So much Blood. I’m going to die from loss of blood!

Tooth number 2 (I must warn you, it’s boring)
OK so I’m at my friend's house. I say to my friend, “I am so SO! sick of this loss tooth!!!” My mate said “Pull it out” I say “Naaa” “I don’t want to get blood everywhere” “Let’s go for a swim” I said “ OK” My friend said.   S-W-I-M   “Hey my tooth came out” “And there's blood in the pool!”

Tooth number 3
“I’m so tired!” I have to go to the supermarket. OK i’m at the supermarket. I get out. I have to dodge all the people. And I’m of will I make it? Can I do it? HO HO! And I make it. But then I walk into a pole. That hurt. And then my tooth fell out.


  1. Entertaining writing, Zeb!

    You are good at using the present tense and you have put a lot of personality into this!

  2. Nice work Zeb (WARNING:be careful of pesky poles.

  3. yuk blood in the pool and watch out for those poles zeb


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